Monday, November 19, 2012

The aftermath


   © Tornado Tree by Isadora Gruye


My limbs are bare of palm leaves and fruits
The wind has tore them from my hands  
Violently, without warning -- fruits
from labor hands, slipped from my hands
Splitting grey belly,   scattering seeds 
In soil, dry of grief and repast, blooms break 
The sky grieves the empty blooms and seeds
But I am not broken --    I will not break !

~0~0~0~

The autumn tempest has ripped me bare

Of roof and sun colors but sheets -
Thin, hardly veiling gaping walls,  bare 
Of  sheets, I stood, amid pale sheets
Brown eyes searched the blue skies for answers
Brutal is the wrath of the bitter wind
I listened for answers...        one answer 
... Only the clouds pulsed, flailing in the wind   




                                                            @ Terry of Mobuisfaith


Poetry form:   An eight line poem by William Butler Yeats.  
Line 1: 9 syllables (a)
Line 2: 8 syllables (b)
Line 3: 9 syllables (a)
Line 4: 8 syllables (b)
Line 5: 9 syllables (c)
Line 6: 10 syllables (d)
Line 7: 9 syllables (c)
Line 8: 10 syllables (d)



Posted for:   OpenLinkNight of Imaginary Garden with Real Toads (every Monday)
and D'verse Poets Pub (every Tuesday) ~  Thanks for the visit ~ 

45 comments:

  1. love the intensity in this...great imagery in that opening stanza as well...the ripping away...the sky grieving....great...the break makes for a nice breath as well...as this stills to a close...

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  2. Like the strength of the first, as holding on no matter what must be done, both well spun.

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  3. From the first, I love this:

    "The sky grieves the empty blooms and seeds"

    and in the second to end with this line:

    "... Only the clouds pulsed, flailing in the wind," I love this effect...it zeros in on that moment only.

    These are excellent, Grace!!

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  4. Excellent imagery in both poems. The second especially spoke to me of devastation after a storm. The last line is extraordinary!!

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  5. Not an easy style to maintain, I found. You did it nicely, with the superb imagery others have already mentioned.
    K

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  6. what a great word, "flailing." very nice, very!

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  7. How well you capture the brutality of nature's storms, paralleling palm and person, both standing strong amid the carnage. The details are intense.

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  8. I love what you did with this challenge. How clever to combine both weekend picture challenges. There was a noticeable connection between your two pieces, in mood and tone and the way you used the repetition.

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  9. Phew... very intense, powerful imagery Grace. It speaks of frailty yet, an inner strength too.
    Well done.

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  10. So intense, yet brutally beautiful, as was the storm,,,love your poetry,,

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  11. Your lovely words are a vision to the soul. A lush, little gem of a poem.

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  12. "I will not break"... powerful Grace.

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  13. This is beautiful. I love how a picture forms in my mind so clearly when I read your words. I felt a little sadness from this, but focused on the affirmation: I will not break.

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  14. Nature and man-made; both have been plundered.

    In soil, dry of grief and repast, blooms break
    The sky grieves the empty blooms and seeds
    But I am not broken -

    It seems to me nature gets on with regrowth, the human wants an answer as to why, before doing so. I found this VERY lovely and perfect due to recent events.

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  15. Very beautifully written. I love "I will not break" and the closing lines of the second stanza very much. You wrote this form so well.

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  16. Wow ... the words are so powerful and intense ... terrific writing!!!

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  17. Tough form scripted beautifully as you always do. The feel was true and chaotic all at the same time...knowing that at some point it will give way to a rebirth of some kind. Great writing, loved it.

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  18. Enjoyed this very much, Grace!

    " Only the clouds pulsed, flailing in the wind " -- the picture you chose from moebius faith goes SO well with this!

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  19. this makes you feel what is described especially if you have seen the aftermath of such storms

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    1. I have read/seen the devastating aftermath ~ Thanks for the compliments and visit ~

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  20. i love the first two lines! Enjoyed all of it, but those two lines were a very powerful entry point.

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  21. stripped bare, yet unconquered. Very strong imagery in this one.

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  22. Love this poem...beautiful in its barrenness.

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  23. Grace this poem is really strong and amazing!!

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  24. Great poems meeting the challenge! The repetition works so well!

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  25. Great!.... enjoyed reading this... you weaved it beautifully....

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  26. These are beautiful Grace...I couldn't even do the challenge...I just stumbled too much in attempting it.

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  27. Really nice work Grace. I will have to add this to my list of posts from Saturday. Thanks. :-)

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    1. Thank you for the lovely photograph ~

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  28. Well done Grace you so captured this form with the guided view well illustrated!
    Your imagery always is spot on~ :D

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  29. This is so lovely, Grace. The beauty of broken things.

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  30. I love this section:
    "Splitting grey belly, scattering seeds
    In soil, dry of grief and repast, blooms break
    The sky grieves the empty blooms and seeds"

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  31. Grace, great lines here. Love it :)

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  32. Great imagery, esp like this passage -

    Splitting grey belly, scattering seeds
    In soil, dry of grief and repast

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  33. I don't know how I missed this Heaven, but sometimes I don't get back to the prompt as I should, so glad you linked to OLN--you worked the form nicely here--I really really like the second one, where the clouds and curtains and wind all mingle.

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  34. love the idea that while the leaves and fruits have been ripped away the tree will not give in.

    there is a softness (and sadness) to the second piece even though the wind again has stolen much.

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  35. i like the imagery here and the not being broken despite the rough winds..

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  36. ...your words are ripping... and grieving yet delivering hope, i guess... and oh, nice to meet you Grace... i've known you as 'Heaven' since i never got the chance to know your real name until today.... i am starting to write again after the long hiatus... li'l by li'l i'll start again reinventing myself.

    Good day!

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  37. One of my favorite lines -- I will not break!

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  38. Excellent imagery and emotion! Pulled me right in. Especially love that last line "clouds pulsed" very creative. :-)

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  39. happy thanksgiving grace...thankful for you...smiles.

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  40. Wow! You have taken this form and made it your own! You do this with such ease that we readers don't even notice that you are writing to form.

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  41. tomorrows topic is 'Missing you'

    smiles.

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~