Wednesday, September 5, 2012

On a cold evening


her reply came
in the mail, faint of ink,
obscure as spiralling sky

~0~0~0

across the hallway,
his words echoed
colder than distant star

~0~0~0

her tears fell into
the bottomless well,
unanswered prayers


Posted for Haiku Heights:   Milky Way - This is part of the September Challenge. 

I struggled with this prompt and might skip on some days to write about other things ~Thanks for the visit~ 

34 comments:

  1. Very unique takes...beautiful..each one..Well done Grace..

    RS:)

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  2. Not the outcome she really wanted, but at least the truth came out however cold.

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  3. Nice. There's a haunting sadness in these. Those are feelings most of us have experienced.

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  4. w-o-w....i am running short of words...this is simply beyond my thought..its super beautiful..thankyou for sharing :)

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  5. Beautiful and unique take on the prompt. I feel the loss in each one.

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  6. Wow! An entire narrative in 9 tiny lines with images. I do believe that mine is the perfect answer to yours!

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  7. Nice. I could hear the quill in the ink well, brittle footsteps, a door, partially closing, quiet tears.
    Rick

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  8. I found this sad and touching, a sense of misunderstanding and inability to communicate - but then I am a romantic!

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  9. Wow! Haiku and a short story too! Very nice.

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  10. ouch...that middle one stings a bit...def a sadness that resonates through this grace....i like that each touches a different level of communication as well...

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  11. Your haiku are beautiful even in their sadness. You have such a gift for writing them.

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  12. What a beautiful series, Grace. Such sweet sadness.

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  13. Heartbreaking, each one! all so true and poignantly captured.

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  14. Awesome series of haiku ... had some difficulties to adjust to this way of using the prompt, but you did well. Chapeau

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  15. I like the words colder than a distant star. All of the lines are wonderful.

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  16. Haunting - lovely. 'Faint of ink' sounds mysterious to me. I like this.

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  17. Hmm hmm unanswered prayers and bottomless well, nicely done!

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  18. lovely haiku's......tinted with sadness....

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  19. What a beautiful metaphoric take on the prompt. A neat story told with sad undertones. Very well done!

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  20. 1 and 2.......verrry nice!
    Beautiful lines.

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  21. These are very sad, Grace. I struggled with this prompt too as I try to marry two word prompts together in one post. I'm not participating every day though - only on some days just to give my support to both Leo and Rick in their September project.

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  22. Unaswered prayers...
    Lovely!

    http://locomente.blogspot.in/2012/09/milky-way.html

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  23. its sad ..but it touched my soul..

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  24. I like the image of the faint of ink.. deep..

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  25. I liked the last one, Grace.. milky way as a bottomless well... Thank you for sharing, and yes, this was a tricky one, I agree.

    Hope your muse is kind to you as always :) I await your haiku to read, whenever you post.

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  26. Very tricky prompt -- you pulled it off effortlessly ... my favorite of the set is the last one!! :)
    Thank you for your visit.

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  27. I like the first two stanzas best! Beautifully expressed!
    I love this line: "obscure as spiralling sky"
    As always well done ;D

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  28. Interesting prompt. You did terrific!

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Thank you for your comments and visit. I appreciate them ~